Beat me outta me

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2007-09-05T21:40:00

2007-09-06T01:40:55Z

It never gets any fucking easier....ever

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2007-07-28T01:14:00

2007-07-28T05:16:04Z

I found out Adam Jones had cancer. the doctor who saved my sisters life died after becoming an alcholic and losing his medical practice and the pregnant meth-head who I used to look down apon apparently watched her mother get shot.

It's hard for everyone

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2007-05-29T00:01:00

2007-05-29T04:13:05Z

my leg hurts, my sheets stink. I have run outta things to say, I have run out of entertainment. I'm a machine, we all are. Fuel my working parts and keep me moving. I need a good ramble I haven't had one in awhile. Writing makes me feel like someone is listening like the bumper sticker "Smile: God still loves you". I'm a mindless consumer I produce nothing, I eat food someone else made, live in someone elses house, smoke plants other people grew, read books other people wrote, whatch movies other people made. I have no intellegence I have no personality. I'm not sad I'm really not I don't care anymore I don't know what to care about and even so where to find it. What's left after childhood, when my mind was pure and everything made sense or atleast didn't have to make sense "Every human being on this earth is born with a tragedy, and it isn'toriginal sin. He's born with thetragedy that he has to grow up. That he has to leave the nest, the security, and go out to do battle.He has to lose everything that is lovely and fight for a new loveliness of his own making, and it's atragedy. A lot of people don't have the courage to do it."

and I don't think I'm one of the people

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2007-04-15T00:45:00

2007-04-15T04:45:53Z

It's weird how much Dick's sporting good taught me about how little progress I've made, and I'd do it too I can promis that much

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2007-03-20T00:26:00

2007-03-20T04:35:36Z

It's weird to think about yourself. Who you really are cause thoughts and feelings vary from day to day. And noone really knows what you could be thinking at any given moment, and there is just so much that could never be articulated. How do you put colors and tone into words? What is honest in a world where people change? what is it that makes you keep moving, living works better without thinking yet emotion and logic are part of us for some reason or another. It's all extremes without reasons, from the smell of woods in the morning to the tightened feeling in my stomach in a dakr, dry and warm room. I sometimes wish I could find my self in the badlands atop one of those formless rocks, jumping off the edge not thinking of anything but air and feeling the hot sand before being returned to the great nothingness we all come from and wait to return. It's liberating to rant about nothing. It's liberating to think of how wonderfuly pointless everything is. It's liberating to know we can end it any time any way we want the hardest part would be the consequences of going out with a guilty conscience.

if anyone wants me to paraphrase this, I'm slipping

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2007-01-29T21:00:00

2007-01-30T01:00:42Z

people use the word amazing too much

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2007-01-16T21:35:00

2007-01-17T01:35:01Z

Kinda bad day, one of those days where your pissed at everyone for your own problems. Luckily noone noticed. Then felt shitty and tired. doing ok right now

the end

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2007-01-03T22:00:00

2007-01-04T02:00:02Z

my back is wet, school was alright.

me, liver, wally and white mike sat around and talked about the past it was weird.

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-12-29T05:00:00

2006-12-29T09:00:32Z

it's 4 in the morning. I haven't been able to write in a long time, I'm starting to think I lost it but I always think that and then it pops back so I njever fucking know.

shits complicated I wish I could relax.

I really wanna do teh reasonings with people but it's so hard without a house and no weed

green

2006-12-28T19:40:37Z

I feel really stressed and weird lately, I hate culminations

good news I have a penguin that shits candy

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-11-20T20:42:00

2006-11-21T00:42:32Z

I wish I was like 8, only because any bad stuff was hidden and anything you thought was abd was just some over reaction. I want to feel like I'm still protected and safe. I want the world to see infinite again. I wanna feel like people had more depth to them I just wanna feel like that when I lay down to bed everynight I'm awaiting a new day and not escaping the old one.

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-10-22T21:27:00

2006-10-23T01:29:31Z

I had alot to say but I can't word some of it, some of it I just don't feel like typing so instead.

I have a chest cold.....shit

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-10-02T22:45:00

2006-10-03T02:40:35Z

I started writing againg which I guess is pretty good. All my friends are kinda drifting away but at this point I really have no energy or desire to fight it anymore

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-09-24T00:05:00

2006-09-24T04:08:26Z

I just whatched a really good movie and next is thumbsucker so good night.

I'm contemplating quitting just about all bad things I do and seeing a shrink although I used be very opposed to the idea I think it might actually help me cause maybe all I really need is to feel like I have someone I can talk to even if they only want my money and will push me away after an hour.

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-09-11T14:14:00

2006-09-11T18:16:13Z

I'm home from school because I didn't wanna go and I have a project that I have to do but I've been up for 3 hours and haven't started it. I'm awesome. Melotonin is slowly losing it's ability to make me sleep cause I was up for quite awhile last night sitting up in bed staring at the light that cracks through my door.

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-09-06T21:46:00

2006-09-07T01:49:37Z

Today was fucking weird, while in ISS I got really fuckin deressed for awhile so I started reading a textbook haha. It's weird to be locked in a room all day then try and talk to people, never really recovered from it but it was still fun. Bryan and liver really like hacky sack. I bought a new notebook cause I'm god. I wish I ahd never started smoking

poem that I don't wanna lose

Just another rainy day, waiting for a downtown train
thought I could never get far enough away
Sat hopeless with a hat in my lap
I’ve got no need to keep my head dry
that one day from too much digging
all my insides had shown
hadn’t been big deal for a long time
but now I get some time alone

some people say that the wind is dancing
and the trees can whisper your name
But for awhile mother nature has always sounded the same

And times are getting hard, cuts soon turn to scars
but I love it, when you smile
The houses store gold, but all of them were soon sold
for a slip of paper that said, “I owe you”
words can only travel so far
I know you mean some of it
I know you do, I know you do

I curse the road of dirt that led me this far in the first place
But you only a puzzle piece at a time
I guess it’s prettier at your pace
It all looks better together, on some dark humid night
could you give me a light
I think you might, I think you might

on a constant moving train, a track with out stations
was this all fate? Or just some stupid misconception
but if I could turn around
and promise you peace can come still
You know I will, you know I will

Ps. why is it that almost all my female friends call me samuel, I find it cute

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-08-11T22:44:00

2006-08-12T02:51:36Z

Guess I can pick up my cards and tally my score
Cause god knows I can’t hang around anymore
Sitting on the sidelines giving someone else my turn
But I always have week ambitions
and too much time to burn

I can see you moving in for the kill
Means nothing to you but a bag of bones
some stupid cheap thrill
But I’m not the kind
to change your mind

I sweat too much

This is amazingly shitty

2006-08-10T01:22:39Z

I spent a few days trapped in a dream
Perfectly suited for two
dangling from power lines
is this too much for you?

Fell through a hole deeper than the sea
deeper than the sheltered sky
you all wanted to built for me

I can spin the truth however I please
and all those constant lies
you force me to say
this a message telling you it makes my day

The birds only fly out of instinct
their freedom can never last
I’m sorry I held back her identity
put you can’t know I live in the past

but we are who we are
There’s not too much I can too
we’re just too flowing currents
trying to make it through

Is this what you wanna hear?
You shut me out long enough
long enough for me to know
T hat none of your morality tales will make this ok

So lets strive day to day
and keep quiet this time
This isn’t a confession
it’s more of an explanation
and I’ll shrug you off until you understand
But you won’t stick around with one foot out the door
and you’ll never hear me out
you always have an ear to the ground

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-07-30T01:18:00

2006-07-30T05:19:33Z

who has a working Ipod again?!?!?!

SAM DOES!!!!!!!!!!

AIMLESS WALKS ARE BACK ON SCHEDULE!

I am this bored....................

2006-07-28T04:34:04Z

1. Are you in a relationship?
No

3. How often do you visit your MySpace profile?
depends

4. What is your favorite candy?
fast break

5. What are your favorite shoes?
shitty converse

6. Have you ever tripped going up steps?
probably

7. Do you have a vacation planned for this summer yet?
almost over

9. Do you own a Fall Out Boy CD?
nope

10. Do you like amusement parks?
they're ok

11. Do you ride rollercoasters?
yeah soemtimes

12. What is your current favorite CD?
I dunno

13. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
if i push my nose down

14. When was the last time you were in the water?
I dunno a few days

15. Do you like beer?
it's ok ocasionaly

16 Are you confused about someone?
Not really

17. What is the most embarrassing CD you own?
I don't know

18. Are you happy?
Not really

19. Can you drive?
sorta

20. In your opinion, what is the best summer smell?
rain

21. Socks and sandals?
socks

22. Who was the last person to go to the movies with you?
ummm griffin, bryan, gazda, walloga, sean, ryan, liver

23. What's one thing you really hope to do this summer?
have a send off mwhaha

24. Do you like to go Mini-Golfing?
No, I didn't ven like it when i was little

25. Are you moving this summer?
No

26. Are you going to be starting a new job this summer?
No, I wish

27. Have you ever slapped someone?
yea

28. Do you get poison ivy?..
Nope, poison oak

29. Do you plan on going camping this summer?
no

30. What's the last resturant you ate at?
golden carol

31. Favorite pizza topping?
extra cheese

32. Jeans or shorts?
jeans

33. Do u play any Sports?
Not really anymore

34. Do you use Chapstick?
No

35. What were the last 3 movies you watched?
I have no fuckin clue man

37. Are you too Forgiving?
Sometimes

38. How many pets do you have?
1

39. Do you own clothing from Hot Topic?
I don't think so anymore, that place annoys me now

40. What is your favorite breakfast?
waffles with syrup, or leftover pizza ha

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-07-25T23:51:00

2006-07-26T03:51:45Z

Smoke slow, speak easy
mumble lightly
Gimme signals I can actually read
Let me crash calmly
Raise me to eye level
I wanna see all of it

Too lazy to write any more

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-07-24T00:06:00

2006-07-24T04:06:57Z

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!

I'm gonna grab boose and go for a long walk

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-07-20T00:24:00

2006-07-20T04:33:03Z

Damn writers block!!! I hate it cause now I feel all weird and scattered braiend and as though there's no way to make it go away, cause talking to people is overrated. I spent 2 days in a row at bryan's it was fun but now I really don't wanna see or talking to anyone any more too much social contact. My Ipod is all fucked up so i can't go on aimless walks. I'm tired, I'm getting sick, I'm feeling insanly lonely, I hate the fact I complain so much

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-07-12T01:31:00

2006-07-12T05:45:41Z

AHHHHHHHHHHH Late night indigestion, always happens when I eat at night. I'm tired, everyone is getting sick (by everyone I mean griffin and walloga haha). I can't sleep but that is to be expected so since I'm bored and awake I'm just gonna babble about nothing so if your one of the maybe 2 people who read this and have no desire to read about whatever shit I'm gonna put you can stop now cause it's not entertaining and it's pointless but it amuses em and that's all that matters. I bought a new notebook a small one and I felt sad cause I have nothing to put into it I thought I did (hense buying it) but I didn't so I walked around aimlessly thinking of anything I really wanted to write btu came up with nothing so I walked around for a long time and just smoked alot outta boredom. I was gonna go see griffin's record player but I didn't so I layed down on a greenbox and I thought of soemthign but by then I was too lazy. I'm all weird feeling lately it's like I can't get my head on right, which sounds silly but I feel really like misplaced like I can't think straight or decide what I want or anything like I dunno I feel like multiple people live inside me and all of them want their say. And whenever I try to sort myself out I just get sad and say stupid shit to people that they don't need to hear and I shouldn't say and I dunno. I'm back to that old issue I used to have were I just feel ashamed of my own thoughts and feelings again. It may just be lack of sleep and order or I may be slowly going insane, I'm cool with either.

sammy_wammy_woo @ 2006-07-07T00:06:00

2006-07-07T04:22:14Z

80 Things You Might Not Know About Me

Whats your middle name? JEdward

How big is your bed? full/futon

What are you listening to right now? glad girls- guided by voices

What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number? 1822

What was the last thing you ate? pizza

Last person you hugged? walloga haha

How is the weather right now? humid

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? griffin

What is the first thing u notice in the opposite sex? it depends, from a distance: style, up close :smile

Favorite type of Food? Uhh cheap food

Do you want children? No

Do you drink? barely

Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night? nope

Hair color? dark brown

Eye color? hazel?

Do you wear contacts/glasses? glasses

Favorite holiday? don't really have one anymore

Favorite Season? winter

Have you ever cried over a girl/boy? don't think so

Last Movie you Watched? uhhhhh friday

What books are you reading? dunno

Piercings? icky

Favorite Movie? don't know

Favorite college football Team? Uhh probably dolphins

What were you doing before filling this out? reading jackies haha

Any pets? dog

Dogs or cats? dogs

Favorite Flower? blue ones

Have you ever loved someone? nope

Who would you like to see right now? actually I'm pretty cool being alone right now
Have you ever fired a gun? nooo

Do you like to travel by plane? it was ok

Right-handed or Left-handed? righty

If you could go to any place right now where would you go? someplace i could get a pack of smokes.......

Are you missing someone? Not really no

Do you have a tattoo? I will sodmeday

Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? I don't wake up in the mornings

Are you hiding something from someone? random silly things yeah

ARE YOU 18? no :(

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE? default

DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT? I'm still tired

FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING? god damn why is walloga in my room?

WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE? ummm my remote

GRILLED OR FRIED? depends on teh food

WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE? everyone is technically unique

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? No, I'm afraid of tripping over shit

FAVORITE HANGOUT? my pourch

3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT? diet dew, smokes, music

FAVORITE SONG? dunno

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? growing up a failure

ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER? little bit of both

WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? sam

WHAT IS YOUR DADS MIDDLE NAME? Micheal

WHATS YOUR MOTHERS MIDDLE NAME? Marie

STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD TAKE ONE THING? Umm well a flare gun but I think I missed the point of the question

FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL? Any one withough billie mays

WHO'S YOUR CELL PHONE PROVIDER? cingular.......?

Whats your favorite color? blue

WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS TAKE WITH YOU? smokes, lighter, some cash

WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? a writer

WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS 11:11? say "wow I have to be home in 49 minutes"

THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEEt? Ummm white Ithink, I dunno I use a blanket

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED? every possible random thought